I have decided to challenge myself physically and mentally by getting fit and writing as much as I can.
Night time workout (10 pm)
When I was 16 I got into a huge car accident. I fractured and compressed my spine. To this day when I see any doctor they tell me that I am a walking miracle b/c in all cases my injuries are to be paralyzed. I am the type of person who is afraid of everything but by Faith in God I always look back on that day and I push forward. Every step that I take is by the grace of God and I should not live in fear. So here I am walking and working out by Faith without stressing about my fitness. I disliked it when I became overly passionate once about it b/c then it became hard work and untrue. Of course I fell of the wagon b/c it was going way too fast! So easy steps now. A challenge, yes. A burden, no!
Current weight is 135 lbs. I don’t think I can loose much weight but I do intend to feel comfortable in my clothes and body. So goal is: look good, feel good!
[Drake on the radio]
(I’m driving up Colima and my 5 year old niece sits in the back seat looking out the window)
Me: Listen Alicia this is Nina’s boyfriend.
(She turns to me and I turn up the radio)
Alicia: Nina, you like all the rappers.
Me: Do you know what rap is?
Me: It’s poetry and music.
Me: Do you know what poetry is?
Me: Well when you do, you’ll understand. :)
(She shrugs and looks out the window again)
So what if you fail, just keep trying, keep moving forward!
Don’t let it swallow you up.
These are the treasured moments that will make your success determine its value…
Then you will hold the thorns as standards to what you allow or don’t,
then you will determine if it’s worthy of you…
And remember me among the stars that twinkle as you shine,
remember me as I remember you and hear you through time.
Do you see me as I look up at you?
Do you remember looking up at me?
Don’t give up on me as I never gave up on you.
I know a man that waits for me below the moon,
His eyes are bright and his heart swoons,
He wears blue jeans and a black heart,
I can’t remember why we fell apart.
But if I could caress his cheek and kiss his brow…
If I could tell him that I was wrong,
If I could somehow go back and be strong…
The rain falls on his face and he looks down,
You can’t make out the tears but he stands there,
He lets the cold sink in,
He closes his eyes and there I am;
A white Summer dress and a heart made of tin.
I smile and he reaches for me,
His right arm grips around my waist,
His tender lips soothe my neck,
And his left hand travels towards my breast…
Thunder on the horizon awakens his sight.
He lights a cigarette,
He lights a cigarette,
He lights a cigarette and the tears subside.
Guilt exhales from his chest,
Anger gets lost in the wind,
I blame destiny that knows best,
but he differs in mind.
"What are you looking for?"
"I don’t know, but I know I have to find it…"
"And you think that you’ll find it there? That someone could just teach you this?"
"No… Yeah -I don’t know, but I have to go."
He walks and blames,
He walks and the burn in his chest grows;
The moon watches over him as he imagines me;
smiling, laughing, and having a love spree…
I stand by my window,
and I ask for forgiveness;
If I could tell him I would;
that what I sought I could not find,
If I could hold him again I would;
"Did you find what you were looking for?"
and then I could finally see,
then I could finally say,
"Yeah, I did".
Play it Again a short film by Jean Soer Velario
Play It Again a short film by Jean Soer Velario
L’AMOUR AU BON VIEULX TEMPS/
In good old days such sort of love held sway
As artlessly and simply made its way,
And a few flowers, the gift of love sincere,
Than all the round earth’s riches were more dear:
For to the heart alone did they address their lay.
And if they chanced to love each other, pray
Take heed how well they then knew how to stay
For ages faithful; -twenty, -thirty year -
In good old days.
But now is lost Love’s rule they used t’ obey;
Only false tears and changes fill the day.
Who would have me a lover now appear
Must love make over in the olden way,
And let it rule as once it held its sway
In good old days.
What would light be w.out darkness?
or darkness w.out light?
For light seeks darkness
and darkness seeks light;
& it being so, are they not one?
Does darkness not also posses
its own beauty and right?
(_if you do not believe me,
turn on a candle in a dark room;
can you argue against them then?
do you not hear their song and see their dance?_)
;it takes but the darkness of your eye
to see the light,
and the light within you to see the dark…
Are not the stars found in an immense dark universe?
then, is the dark still dark and the light still light?
Are they not one?
Biographer Giorgio Vasari
in Lives of the Painters, Sculptors, and Architects